Chase the sun
Last week, I drove for three hours to chase the sunset. I was heading to the Twelve Apostles, or rather, the quiet beach before the Apostles, where I planned to sit and watch the sun as it made its way behind the staggering cliff.
It ended up being a bit of a mad pursuit, although only because I made it so – I could (and should) have departed from Coburg a lot earlier, but found myself sidetracked buying silver hoop earrings at Chemist Warehouse.
The traffic on the M1 was troubling at first, but eventually it subsided, and soon enough I was speeding along the inland route alone, quietly praying that the clouds would clear and that my drive wasn’t completely invalid.
The last time I drove to the Twelve Apostles I was 18. I was eagerly clocking up the hours so I could sit my driving test, and on weekends, my father would kindly sit in the car with me while I drove aimlessly for hours on end. There was never a particular destination in mind, just the goal of accumulating time.
This time I drove alone, my only accompaniment the FutureSex/LoveSounds CD I’d purchased the day before from an op shop in Bentleigh. I was in Bentleigh killing time, as I often am these days – killing time. Recently, time has become meaningless to me, just a gentle reminder that I exist. I still exist.
As I walked back to my car from the Bentleigh Salvos, I spotted a double rainbow, from one end to the other. Lately, I’ve turned to searching for symbols and signs in everyday life, and this rainbow felt like a good omen. I had high hopes for the drive down to the coast.
The sun has always been an important symbol for humans. Representing light, and life, it is the source for our existence. The sun is quite literally, the centre of our universe. In astrology, our sun sign is supposed to reveal our true identity, our personalities, who we are meant to be.
I was chasing the sun on this occasion, but truth be told, I’ve been chasing a lot of things lately. Safety. Comfort. Stability. Certainty. No matter how hard I search, they continually seem to evade me.
I arrived at the beach just in time to catch the last of the glow from the sun. I walked along the water until I found a dry rock, sat down, and watched as the pearlescent waves rolled back and forth in front of the declining sun. The tide was returning, and at times the seafoam engulfed the rock I perched on. Miraculously, I stayed dry, even though water threatened to dampen me, and my spirits, over and over and over again.
The sun continued to fall, until suddenly I was alone. The chase was over.